i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
