We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
