I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
