3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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