his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
