i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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