dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
