this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i am craving dick and cupcakes
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
