Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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