They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
