He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
