She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
