On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
im six kinds of drunk right now
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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