I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
