She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
