you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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