dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
