I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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