Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
