mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
