he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
