I think my vagina is haunted
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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