So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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