also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
