called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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