We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
