it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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