i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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