I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
