you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
