ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
