I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
