Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
