Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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