I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
