Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
