Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
