Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
