chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
