What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
