our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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