It's Friday. Sex?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
