His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
