after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
