Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i out mim tonsoeep
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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