Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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