So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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