All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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