What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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