Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Randomize
