White coat. Heels.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
