Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
