Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
